MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
