Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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