Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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