Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
