I think i peed on brittanys purse
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
