I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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