I like my sex mixed with concussions.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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