True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I can't turn off my feet"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
