Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant http://tfl.nu/4y6m
  Replies (10) Good night (564) Bad night (2546)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar. http://tfl.nu/rlky
  Replies (9) Good night (3972) Bad night (2233)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?" http://tfl.nu/ksw8
  Replies (13) Good night (5106) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You know, be my cock's hype man.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): You know, be my cock's hype man. http://tfl.nu/5yns
  Replies (3) Good night (2570) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony... http://tfl.nu/w96r
  Replies (14) Good night (3304) Bad night (1556)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all. http://tfl.nu/8vyn
  Replies (6) Good night (849) Bad night (2790)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (831): I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET. http://tfl.nu/2kw0
  Replies (13) Good night (2467) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts

  (1-631): View more from New York

  Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts (1-631): Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships? http://tfl.nu/5hoq
  Replies (19) Good night (2123) Bad night (1369)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly http://tfl.nu/cjgf
  Replies (2) Good night (769) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me. http://tfl.nu/bdw0
  Replies (1) Good night (754) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (857): Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests http://tfl.nu/5mbt
  Replies (9) Good night (1531) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  whats our policy on dating high schoolers?

  (1-231): View more from Michigan

  we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): whats our policy on dating high schoolers? (1-231): we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does http://tfl.nu/ul27
  Replies (8) Good night (2080) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice http://tfl.nu/kf5f
  Replies (1) Good night (427) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.

  (1-740): View more from Ohio

  Are you at a park?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS. (1-740): Are you at a park? http://tfl.nu/nmnn
  Replies (2) Good night (591) Bad night (199)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.

  (714): View more from California

  Worser: she offered to clean me up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted. (714): Worser: she offered to clean me up http://tfl.nu/1w2l
  Replies (11) Good night (290) Bad night (805)

Randomize