Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
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All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The pigeons can smell the fear
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I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.