Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Your tits are I can't wait for
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...