non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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