he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
you're hired as official boob wrangler
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...