Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.

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(508): i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer. http://tfl.nu/bdc9

Replies (37) Good night (2310) Bad night (941)
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(503): View more from Oregon

you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you

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(503): you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you http://tfl.nu/l62c

Replies (4) Good night (2261) Bad night (1213)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.

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(605): I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong. http://tfl.nu/jd9v

Replies (6) Good night (3172) Bad night (1131)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at

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(203): You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at http://tfl.nu/66cb

Replies (5) Good night (2740) Bad night (864)
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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.

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(709): I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her. http://tfl.nu/w26o

Replies (10) Good night (2219) Bad night (1194)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird

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(630): Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird http://tfl.nu/yn9e

Replies (5) Good night (768) Bad night (1646)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key

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(609): Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key http://tfl.nu/pj3h

Replies (7) Good night (2036) Bad night (822)
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(207): View more from Maine

You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!

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(207): You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?! http://tfl.nu/i02d

Replies (15) Good night (1905) Bad night (572)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.

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(773): I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened. http://tfl.nu/5hv3

Replies (11) Good night (1314) Bad night (516)
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(719): View more from Colorado

I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear

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(719): I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear http://tfl.nu/cplq

Replies (1) Good night (1131) Bad night (593)
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(360): View more from Washington

Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.

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(360): Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit. http://tfl.nu/9fav

Replies (4) Good night (605) Bad night (997)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.

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(503): Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go. http://tfl.nu/c4rz

Replies (3) Good night (979) Bad night (507)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.

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(734): Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life. http://tfl.nu/cgob

Replies (3) Good night (1641) Bad night (494)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.

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(601): I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka. http://tfl.nu/8ven

Replies (3) Good night (561) Bad night (386)
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(314): View more from Missouri

She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"

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(314): She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!" http://tfl.nu/o6vj

Replies (3) Good night (1121) Bad night (400)

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