Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest

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  (858): I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest http://tfl.nu/rx4r
  Replies (4) Good night (1706) Bad night (443)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.

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  (931): Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight. http://tfl.nu/ee6d
  Replies (5) Good night (2122) Bad night (711)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I've blown a few things in my day

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  (607): I've blown a few things in my day http://tfl.nu/5p5t
  Replies (9) Good night (2872) Bad night (567)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.

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  (513): Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot. http://tfl.nu/qalf
  Replies (15) Good night (7900) Bad night (1008)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?

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  (865): Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store? http://tfl.nu/4sw9
  Replies (24) Good night (5875) Bad night (1648)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two

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  (617): I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two http://tfl.nu/3vhn
  Replies (6) Good night (3256) Bad night (1423)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.

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  (519): It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band. http://tfl.nu/y1g3
  Replies (18) Good night (1089) Bad night (5249)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.

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  (913): did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box. http://tfl.nu/h01u
  Replies (10) Good night (3199) Bad night (1582)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.

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  (410): YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me. http://tfl.nu/lzgg
  Replies (4) Good night (2000) Bad night (830)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.

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  (910): Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood. http://tfl.nu/yy48
  Replies (4) Good night (639) Bad night (1570)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  3pm strippers are depressing

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  (320): 3pm strippers are depressing http://tfl.nu/w12t
  Replies (19) Good night (872) Bad night (1847)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.

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  (304): NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME. http://tfl.nu/yb98
  Replies (10) Good night (718) Bad night (1270)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.

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  (708): And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint. http://tfl.nu/orxk
  Replies (4) Good night (588) Bad night (267)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."

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  (214): He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here." http://tfl.nu/qwmx
  Replies (0) Good night (470) Bad night (263)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself

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  (210): literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself http://tfl.nu/l1mf
  Replies (4) Good night (360) Bad night (1329)

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