remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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