i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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