I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
