matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
