he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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