I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
