They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
