she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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