I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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