I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
