he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
