yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
thus making me awesome and them whores
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
