Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
