If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
