Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
