now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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