Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
