check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
