I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
