I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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