just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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