Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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