using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
