Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?

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  (248): I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape? http://tfl.nu/ekyk
  Replies (32) Good night (577) Bad night (4563)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'd give my left nut to see you

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  don't do that. I like the set

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  (724): I'd give my left nut to see you (609): don't do that. I like the set http://tfl.nu/41nb
  Replies (12) Good night (9793) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.

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  (410): To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows. http://tfl.nu/3dnj
  Replies (10) Good night (5627) Bad night (787)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?

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  (312): Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo? http://tfl.nu/uk9c
  Replies (33) Good night (3305) Bad night (3606)
• Favorite

  (819): View more from Quebec

  I woke up to her vacumming the grass

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  (819): I woke up to her vacumming the grass http://tfl.nu/p4j1
  Replies (18) Good night (5396) Bad night (1104)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.

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  (740): I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday. http://tfl.nu/4f6m
  Replies (8) Good night (1027) Bad night (2306)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning

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  (856): Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning http://tfl.nu/91gn
  Replies (6) Good night (2119) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.

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  (512): Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there. http://tfl.nu/vwmy
  Replies (3) Good night (1723) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.

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  (936): I swallowed for you. Answer the phone. http://tfl.nu/f04x
  Replies (12) Good night (4180) Bad night (1439)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car

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  (617): we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car http://tfl.nu/ipv6
  Replies (3) Good night (1988) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.

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  (919): It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn. http://tfl.nu/o70k
  Replies (6) Good night (1176) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Too low?

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Yes.

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  (224): This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd. (309): Too low? (224): Yes. http://tfl.nu/cgtr
  Replies (4) Good night (1841) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"

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  (847): I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment" http://tfl.nu/bamr
  Replies (11) Good night (1237) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Your cock deserves a montage

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  (323): Your cock deserves a montage http://tfl.nu/nty6
  Replies (1) Good night (1243) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...

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  (617): you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet... http://tfl.nu/1uxq
  Replies (2) Good night (293) Bad night (789)

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