see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
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And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just want to make out with him forever
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.