True but thats because hes a fetus.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
