I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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