I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
