No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
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Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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