quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
