I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He did a backflip because drugs
do nipples grow back?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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