I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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