What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
