My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
