call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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