Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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