She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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