Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
