she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
