I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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