If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
