yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
