Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize