3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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