Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
honey bunches of taint.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
